I had a little bit of an emotional meltdown last night. I put Nate down in his crib and for the third time in his life, he fell asleep on his own. I remember thinking that he was getting so "mature." About an hour later he started crying in his sleep and I ran upstairs to comfort him. I was amazed at how much his cry has changed; he no longer sounds like a newborn but more like a baby. I picked him up and swayed with him in my arms and almost immediately started crying myself. I started thinking about the time when I won't be holding him anymore and then started thinking about when he won't need me as much. I know that both of those things are going to come all too quickly. That moment is the one that happens more and more, which makes me want to be a stay at home Mommy.
I'm having a bit of a milk supply issue and thought it was from going back to work and pumping more. I called Hoag's Baby Line today and the lactaction consultant helped me realize that it's probably from a combination of stress and the longer nights that Nate has been having. He started sleeping longer stretches the week before I went back to work. She suggested that I wake up every 3 hours to pump, which should increase my supply. I thought I was off the hook for waking up and would have a nice, restful weekend but I guess not. On one hand I understand why people stop breastfeeding because it's a lot of work, but on the other I hope that I am not forced to stop sooner than I'm ready because I love it so much. Until recently I didn't truly love it but I will be really upset if my body decides that it's done. It is such a great bonding experience and I hope to be able to do it for a while longer. My body has responded pretty quickly to changes so I'm hoping that it will continue to respond quickly when I pump more often.
This morning Nate woke up a little bit earlier than usual after going to bed about an hour later than usual last night. When I went upstairs I realized why. I reached into his crib and he was laying on his belly! He has rolled from his belly to his back three times but hasn't done it in quite a while. This morning was the first time that he has ever rolled from his back to his belly and he got stuck! Looks like we really need to make sure he's getting tummy time so that he doesn't get stuck again.
This weekend I'm going to look at our budget to figure out if we can afford me to go part time second semester. One of the new teachers that got hired this year only teaches four classes because there weren't enough sections for her to work full time. I have been thinking about offering to drop a class period and give it to her so that I can spend more time with Nate. I spoke with the Assistant Principal in charge of the schedule and she said she doesn't have a problem with it so I need to figure out if it's realistic for us. I really have my heart set on it so I'm hoping we can make it work.
Well, usually I would be headed off to bed right now but I need to stay up one more hour to pump. I figure that's easier than going to sleep and waking up after only an hour. Please keep your fingers crossed that this plan works and my supply increases!
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